Memorial Day Weekend Recap....

BEER!

My Name is Jess and I Have a TV Addiction

1. LOST didn't suck. I think I'll be excited to watch it when it comes on again in the fall.
2. The summer TV schedule better be good, I don't want to suffer withdrawal.
3. I've already started researching the Fall TV schedule. (ABC is offering sneak peaks)
4. I haven't watched Oprah in 4 days. (and it wont happen today either)
5. My DVR is at 42%, even though most shows are over for the season.
6. I'm thinking I might start watching General Hospital again. I haven't seen it in months.

LOST Let Down

Does anyone else think this season of LOST is a let down? Last season I was home watching every week. I was devastated if I missed and episode, even though I was recording it. I could totally care less this season. I can't tell you how many times I was watching the previous weeks episode right before the new one. I'm hoping the 2 hour season finale brings me back. I need something really good to happen.

Does This Still Make Me a Daddy's Girl?

So I talked to my dad today and he was complaining about how we never see each other. The sad news is we live exactly 5.2 miles apart. Anyway, we decided to go have a few beers tonight...On me. How cool is that? How many people have a dad that will go drink beers on a Tuesday night and let their daughter pay for it? I'm guessing not many.

I Got The Best Present Yesterday...

Do you all remember when I posted this? Well, someone listened and bought it for me. I love it & I can't stop watching. (I can't believe I was 8 when this was on)

Nuts 101

Ok, I'm picky about Nuts too, I wont eat them if they are sweet. One exception is chocolate covered hazelnuts.

• Almonds - No
• Brazil - No
• Cashews - No
• Chestnuts - No
• Hazelnuts - Yes
• Macadamias - No
• Peanuts - Yes, including peanut butter, but preferably creamy not crunchy
• Pecans - Yes
• Pine - No
• Pinon - No
• Pistachios - No
• Sunflower - Yes
• Walnuts - Yes, but pretty much only in cookies or ice cream

Fruit 101

• Apples - Yes, green only
• Apricots - Yes
• Bananas - Yes
• Blackberries - Jam only
• Blueberries - Jam only
• Cantaloupe - Yes
• Cherries - Yes
• Coconut - Yes
• Cranberries - Juice only
• Grapefruit - Yes
• Grapes - Green only
• Guava - No
• Honeydew - Yes
• Kiwi - No
• Lemons- Yes
• Limes- Yes
• Mango - No
• Nectarine - No
• Oranges - Yes
• Peaches - Yes
• Pears - Yes
• Plums - Yes
• Pomegranate- No
• Raspberries - Jam only
• Rhubarb - No
• Strawberries - Yes
• Tangerine - No
• Watermelon - Yes

Meat/Seafood 101

Let me start by saying I will eat meat as long as it isn't prepared with anything sweet, NO SWEET MEAT. I also love my meat overcooked. Jerky is awesome.

• Brats - No
• Chicken - Yes, All day everyday
• Ham - Very Rarely, but yes to bacon
• Hamburger - Yes
• Hot Dogs - No
• Lamb - No
• Pepperoni - Yes
• Pork Chops - Yes
• Ribs - No
• Sausage - Yes, but not Polish
• Spam - no need to even ask
• Steak - Yes, if chopped and in something, never an actual steak
• Turkey - All day everyday
• Veal - No

I don't eat seafood. I will eat tuna occasionally, but only if it's packed in water, has a ridiculous amount of black pepper on it and served on saltine crackers. And that's it...Period.

Vegetables 101

Recently more than one person has given me a hard time about how picky I am about food. I thought I would make a little list and you can tell me if it's that weird.
We will start with Vegetables.

• Artichoke - No
• Asparagus - No
• Avocado - No
• Beans - Yes (including black, pinto, lima)
• Beets - No
• Bell Peppers - No to all colors
• Broccoli - Yes, but cooked
• Brussels sprouts - Yes
• Cauliflower - No
• Cabbage - No
• Carrot - No
• Celery - No
• Corn - Yes, but not creamed
• Cucumber - No
• Eggplant - No
• Green Beans - Yes
• Lettuce - Yes
• Mushroom - No, occasionally if cooked in something like pasta sauce, not on pizza
• Onion - Yes if cooked and in something, never raw
• Peas - Yes (including chickpeas & black-eyed)
• Potato - YES all day everyday, but not sweet potatoes
• Pumpkin - only in pie or ice cream, no squash or zucchini
• Radish - No
• Spinach - Yes, preferably cooked
• Tomato - Yes, if cooked and in something, never raw

Ok I've never actually made a list, so it's funny, but it's not that weird, is it?

Hey Jealousy

I'm going to the Avs game tonight...they better win.

Drink....Period

(Ok, so it just occurred to me that I wrote this post yesterday and saved it as a draft and then never posted it. Sorry ya'll)

So my mom called me at work today and we started talking about her upcoming trip to Vegas with her best friend. (bitches) Anyway, when I asked her what they were going to do this is kinda how the conversation went...

Me: "What are you planning to do?"
Mom: "There isn't a set plan, the only thing I really want to do is go to Toby Keith's Bar"
Me: "Where is it?"
Mom: "I don't remember, It's in the Vegas book at home, I can look it up"
Me: "Oh"
Mom: "Let me put it to you this way, I want to see what I want to see, eat when i'm hungry, sleep when i'm tired and....drink."
Me: "Well, you know you can carry your drink with you on the street"
Mom: "Oh, I KNOW"

That about sums it up, good point mom. Drink your little heart out.

Oh, Like You've Never Thought It?

I think this is hilarious...

Beer vs Pussy

1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. *One point to Beer
2. Warm beer tastes awful. *One point to Pussy
3. A really cold beer is satisfying. *One point to Beer
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. *One point to Pussy
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of Pussy your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussy's in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. *One point to Pussy
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. *One point to Pussy
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. *One point to Pussy
9. You normally don't find old beer. *One point to Beer
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. *One point to Pussy
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. *One point to Pussy
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. *One point to Pussy
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. *One point to Beer
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. *One point to Beer
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. *One point to Beer
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. *One point to Beer
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost. *One point to Beer
18. Beer doesn't have a mother. *One point to Beer
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it. *One point to Beer
20. (If you want to comment and tell me what #2o should be, I'll post the best answer!)

FINAL SCORE: Beer: 10 Pussy: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
I don't know too many men that would agree, but that's another post.

The Norelco 'Bodygroom' Can Make Your *BEEP* Look Bigger?

Although I am aware of the 'optical inch,' I generally make it a rule not to discuss male body grooming. With that said, this has got to be the best online product launch/commercial ever. Make sure you check out the main menu and look at all the options, it just gets better and better. Thanks to everlastingknowitall for the lead.

Holy Stress

I am a little stressed right now...My brain is turning to mush. Need sleep. No, need beer. No, need sleep. Beer. Ugh, I don't even know. Is it possible to inject liquor directly into my veins while I'm sleeping? Has someone figured out how to do this. I don't need much, just a little drip throughout the night. It would help me wake up in a much better state of mind or I just wouldn't care anymore. That sounds good.

The Name Game

Ok I'm obviously totally bored today...I snagged this from Flea's blog.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name) - KC Dartmouth
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mother's side, your favorite candy) - Thelma York
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name) - J Ash
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color) - Moose Blue
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) - Ann Denver
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name) - Ash Urr Mia (does anyone else think this is weird?)
7. PORN STAR NAME: (middle name, street you grew up on) - Ann Mansfield (oohh la la)
8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive) - The Blue Saturn

Float-On

So some of you are aware that I collect floaty pens. (and those of you who don't probably don't know me very well, at least not yet) So today one of the doctors in the hospital stopped by to bring me one from his recent trip to glamorous St Louis, Missouri. This is probably the 4th or 5th pen he has brought me and I know the second from St Louis, I mean how many different floaty pens are there from St Louis? Anyway, its so sweet that he thinks of me when he's traveling, or I guess it could be creepy. No no no I like to think of it as sweet, it makes me feel better.

Why floaty pens you ask? Well, about 4 years ago I was sitting at work talking to a friend and she was talking about her snow globe collection. She has an entire room for them, yikes. I just happened to see a print add in a magazine. It was a like you were sitting at a desk looking out the window at your brand new car in the driveway. On the desk was a coffee mug full of floaty pens. I thought it was a cool idea and it takes up so much less room than snow globes. That was it, I've been collecting since then. I don't remember how many I have but I'm a total nerd and they have their own display case.

I have mostly city/state floaty pens because cool people bring them back, (Thanks Todd) and I have a few cool odd ball ones like a fertility clinic pen. (Thanks Dana) I looked at a couple of sites today to see what was new in the world of floaty pens and a few made me laugh. If you any interest in animals, sports or the bible these should keep you entertained for a while. Oh, and don't forget the strippers, I have a few of these too.