Oh, Like You've Never Thought It?

I think this is hilarious...

Beer vs Pussy

1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. *One point to Beer
2. Warm beer tastes awful. *One point to Pussy
3. A really cold beer is satisfying. *One point to Beer
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. *One point to Pussy
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of Pussy your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussy's in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. *One point to Pussy
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. *One point to Pussy
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. *One point to Pussy
9. You normally don't find old beer. *One point to Beer
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. *One point to Pussy
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. *One point to Pussy
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. *One point to Pussy
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. *One point to Beer
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. *One point to Beer
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. *One point to Beer
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. *One point to Beer
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost. *One point to Beer
18. Beer doesn't have a mother. *One point to Beer
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it. *One point to Beer
20. (If you want to comment and tell me what #2o should be, I'll post the best answer!)

FINAL SCORE: Beer: 10 Pussy: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
I don't know too many men that would agree, but that's another post.