Let's Talk Boys (aka Stupid Men)

Sorry it's wordy, but really funny.
Last night Ali and I went to the bar, shocking I know. We hang out in the same bar most of the time because it's close to home and they have $5 pitchers. Anyway, I would have to say last night was the most ridiculous night in regards to men.
Here's how it went....The first guy to walk up to our table asked us if the band sounded like mariachi music. Which they clearly didn't, they were a rock band. Nice pick-up line huh? He then wanted to buy us drinks, we politely said no, and then he said "how about conversation then?" I said "we are already having a conversation so no thanks." He walked off. Yeah!!
The second guy (who is the friend of the first guy) to come over to the table sat himself down and asked right out if he could have some of our quesadilla. wtf? Ali and I had been drinking for a while at this point, so I said to him, "Are you seriously trying to mooch food off of us?" He says yes and just sits there. He asks Ali if we come here often, she says "No, its our first time." He then says he goes there pretty often to play poker. (they have free Texas Hold'em in the dart room every Saturday night) Ali looks him dead in the face and says, "So if you're out here you lost?" He didn't like that. Ali and I finish our food and there was one piece of quesadilla left, he asks if we are done, and then dives into it. Who eats someone else's food? Especially a stranger. Ali sees a guy we know and runs to get him, he is carrying a drink called an "Adios Mutherfucker." It's a real drink, it's blue. Luckily the weird quesadilla guy gets the hint and walks off. This is bizarre right? Oh, there's more.
The third guy to come to the table was the drunk ass from behind me that kept bumping/leaning into me. Normally I don't get upset if you just bump into me, but he was leaning on me, like I was a freaking pole. He gets into a conversation with Ali. I can't hear their conversation because the band is so loud. But I can see that he keeps leaning into Ali and she keeps leaning away. I run off and find our friend that saved us from the quesadilla guy and after he comes to the table the weird drunk guy walks away.
We've been going to this bar fairly regularly for over a year and never have we had a night like this.